I’ve always thought myself as a socially awkward person. I don’t really like being among a lot of people. In short, I’m that old friend you see sitting by herself at the bar with a glass of drink at a high school reunion. Most of the days, you don’t see me at all because I’m always at home.
About two years ago I explained to a friend why I don’t hang out much. It’s because I have the need to hear myself. Hanging out with friends, and lots of them, influence how you think. I realize that when two or more people interact, they tend to copy each other’s speech. Usually they copy the dominant’s. I guess it’s the need to be accepted. That is quite harmless. What worries me is the next stage, when you agree with what other people think to feel accepted and make yourself believe that it is what you believe in. You want proof? Twitter.
Anyway, lately I became some sort of a ‘hermit’. I only go out to take my kid to school and pick her up afterwards. I work long hours at home and only get a chance to meet my few friends once every month or so. Although I prefer spending my time at home than going out every weekend, I don’t really intend to be a hermit.
But the word hermit kept popping into mind that last night I remembered that there is, in fact, a card in Tarot called The Hermit. I googled it up to see the meaning of the card.
So, basically The Hermit is The Fool that feels the need to retreat after leading a busy life. He hides in a house in the woods and only comes out at night to take a walk with a lantern and a staff. During this walk he realizes the things he’s missed in his life; he can now see things he’s never seen before in daylight. As he explores this new world, he also opens up the hidden areas in his mind.
This card symbolizes introspection, a desire for peace and solitude. Time to think and organize. However frustrating it is sometimes, this will eventually lead to enlightenment and clarity.
Now I don’t mind being a hermit because it’s true. It is what I want and need at this point in my life. At least maybe until June or July, when it’s time for me to pack up my life here and really move on. 😉
Sketch by me, made with Paper by 53 (iOS app). More doodles by me here.