It started as a joke from M that I would only start dating again after 2 years, like what happened to a friend of ours. I thought I could do better than that, but somehow I think my subconscious mind caught the words ‘two years’ and programmed myself and my actions to fit the two-year-plan. Except that it’s not about dating in particular, but moving on in general.
It just hit me that in my case, ‘moving on’ often takes shape of moving, physically. The most similar case was in the year 2000 when I moved to Bandung to heal myself. Note that it was right before I moved to Bandung that I first met the man that later would become my husband and I finally said yes to him after I decided that my time was up in Bandung and moved back to Jakarta.
It’s now 1 year and 9 months since he passed away and I’ll be moving to another town, on another island, in 3 or 4 months’s time. By that time, it’s going to be two years since he’s gone. Damn, M was right. :p
So yeah, I guess with 3-4 months left in this city, dating is the last thing on my mind. Not that I don’t want to, but I simply can’t afford to think about it.. let alone to go out and really look. Another friend said it’s just an excuse. Well, maybe. But come to think of it, if I need to make an excuse then maybe I’m not really ready. Right? RIGHT? 😀
We’ll see after I pass the 2-year mark. If I’m not ready by then, I’ll give you my permission to push me and let me fall (in love). 😀
P.S. Just make sure I’ll land on a nice, tall, and handsome guy. Thank you.